My Birth Story (Dedicated to my Daughter, Sasha)
"Strong enough to bear the children - then get back to business!" These are the lyrics from Beyonce's power anthem "Run The World (Girls)". I never truly understood the strength and deep meaning within these words until the day that I gave birth to my daughter, Sasha.
I am a firm believer of creating the reality you desire in your life based on the effectiveness of manifestation. Throughout my pregnancy journey, I set the intention of my birth plan to bring my baby into this world naturally and spontaneously without any drug or medical intervention. Going down this path, I knew that it was going to be the ultimate test of the faith and strength that I had in myself. I wanted to be able to prove to myself that my mind, body and spirit was capable to birth naturally, just like the many strong women who have done so before me. If this was something that I knew that my sacred body was able to do, it would be the most empowering and liberating accomplishment I could ever achieve in my life.
Before I found out that I was pregnant with Sasha, I've always been fascinated by the idea of having a water birth included within my birth plan. I found comfort in knowing that it was going to play a major part in creating a sense of calm for my mental and emotional wellness during my labour experience as well as maintaining the pain management. From all the invaluable advice that I received from women who have gone through birth - clients, friends and family - there was one in particular that they all had in common: don't be afraid to speak up for yourself!
Looking back on it now, this was my mantra that I ALWAYS made sure to reiterate with every single midwife consultation that I had at the Joan Kirner Hospital. And with that, I'm so thankful that I chose to follow through with my intention about wanting to have a water birth without any medical intervention, because it was exactly what I received. Don't get me wrong - the choice to birth a baby naturally doesn't come without the intensity of the indescribable pain that literally brings you to your knees. But there were three things that I knew for certain that gave me the confidence and power that I could overcome the inevitable: I was healthy. My womb was healthy. My baby was healthy.
When I first entered the birthing suite, I remember the character and ambience of the space instantly putting me at ease. The first thing I noticed was that my gaze was immediately drawn up towards the ceiling as it had a projector of sparkling fairy lights of blues and greens. It felt as though I was under a blanket of stars. The only other lighting surrounding the room were candles. Some of them were also lined up along the bath tub with my crystals. The euphoric scent of Clary Sage essential oil from the diffuser filled the air and the sound of mystical Shaman music echoed throughout the room. I was completely enamored and moved to tears as I took a moment to give thanks to Spirit and my ancestors for blessing me with such a beautiful surrounding. From that moment, I knew that I was ready to bring my daughter earth side.
As the intensity of each contraction came through in waves that consumed my entire being, I knew that I had to dig much deeper within the core of myself. I began to subconsciously tap into my inner feminine warrior as I began to visualize my chakras lighting up like fire upon each breath and contraction as I recited the affirmation:
" I AM FEARLESS AND BRAVE!"
" SOON I WILL HAVE MY BABY IN MY ARMS!"
There was no concept of time in my memory during those 24 hours of labour. Within that last hour, I remember it building up to a pinnacle where I was so physically and mentally exhausted that I began to doubt how much more I was able to endure. In my temptation to quit, I remember almost asking for the epidural to take the pain away. But then the voices of my ancestors came to me and said "You've reached the point of no return. You're almost there. Just one more push. You're stronger than this!"
In that final moment of truth, I summoned to the heavens to bring down all the energy that I needed from Spirit into my core to help me as I barred down for one final push. Finally, with an emotional sigh of relief, she emerged from my body and I raised her out of the water, placing her on my chest. Through all my blood, sweat and tears, my daughter was finally in my arms. I've never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. She was like an angel. As we gazed into each others eyes, I was in complete awe, shock, disbelief and love-struck by the sight of her all at the same time.
None of this would have been possible without the love and unwavering emotional support that I received from my other half, Alex. You saw me at my most raw and vulnerable state, and for that I give so much gratitude to you for standing by my side and being my pillar of courage and strength as I brought our daughter into this world, especially in those moments when I almost gave up hope in myself to push through.
To my amazing and incredible midwives: Kimberley, Tamara and Larni - words don't come close to describe how much their tireless dedication, empathy and compassion meant to me as they helped to deliver my baby. With their guidance, they helped me to channel a superwoman strength I never thought I had. I give so much thanks for their constant patience and listening to my needs so that I was able to birth in peace.
Lastly, I want to say to all the first time mothers-to-be who are expecting they're first child - have FAITH and TRUST in your instincts. Your body will know what to do when your moment comes. Our bodies were made to do this. There is such a special sweetness in being able to participate in creation.
In the infamous words of Maya Angelou:
“Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready. Here comes life."